


Won't Let You Leave My Love Behind

by rainbowstrlght



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-26
Updated: 2011-06-26
Packaged: 2017-10-20 17:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/215525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowstrlght/pseuds/rainbowstrlght
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gay marriage is finally legal in New York, and it prompts Zach to finally make a decision about him and Chris - despite the fact that they've been broken up for over a year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Let You Leave My Love Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://bree-black.livejournal.com/84411.html?thread=727739#t757691) at the "Let's Get Gay Married!" commentfic meme.

There was a part of Zach that wanted to celebrate – wanted to run out into the streets and scream and yell, go to Stonewall and swing somebody around all joyous and jubilant. It itched under his skin, wouldn’t let his legs sit still, wouldn’t stop coursing through his veins. The decision by the legislature to finally legalize something so important made his heart feel full, and brought unexpected tears to his eyes.

He should call up all his friends and go out – get blitzed in dancing and drinks and atmosphere. Let the moment overtake him, and feel proud and ecstatic to see something important come to pass, despite his skepticism and newfound bitterness in government.

Instead his feet took him somewhere entirely different. The streets were always loud, but he heard shouting and happiness everywhere he went. He passed an apartment playing _”Come on and marry me Biiiilllll, I got the wedding bell bluueeees”_ , accompanied by two very drunk and very happy men, and Zach couldn’t help but smile.

It had been a while since he smiled. If it weren’t so historic, perhaps he’d feel bitter that he’d have no one to celebrate the news with – nobody he could turn to on the spot and propose, all romantic and destined. There was still a small ache from his break-up a month ago, but it wouldn’t have been right, and Zach had felt it in his bones. He could’ve turned to Jon, but he wouldn’t have wanted that commitment – Zach wouldn’t have felt caught up in rushing to marry him, he wouldn’t have felt that sense of peace and fulfillment.

Not with Jon, anyway. And Zach had finally confessed it to himself and moved back to New York.

He had drowned himself in work, and perhaps the bill passing had been the first moment Zach had looked up, taking the world in.

With one minor exception, of course.

Zach stood outside the Marriott, suddenly wondering how he looked and noticing his tattered jeans and sneakers. But he didn’t want to turn back – and it hadn’t mattered to Chris when he had popped by his apartment unexpectedly a few days ago, startling the fuck out of Zach, wearing way worse.

“What are you, giving Hemingway a run for his money?” Chris quipped, pointing at his epic beard.

And so Zach had shaved. Bent his head back down for work – and honestly, maybe hadn’t thought much about work. Perhaps had been thinking about something else. Like how Chris had been angry and yelled at him a year ago, discontent with their situations, and Zach had been too aloof and self-important to stay and fight for them. Had run away… to New York.

Zach didn’t want to go out and celebrate. He wanted to satisfy the craving curiosity in his head and march to Chris’ hotel room – demand to know why Chris was even here, why Chris had even bothered to see him.

They had barely been cordial. Dinner in LA a few months ago had been awkward and painful, with a friend as a buffer to keep the elephant tame in the room. Zach had run home and made angry and loveless sex in frustration, wondering why things couldn’t have stayed the way they were – why he had lost his best fucking friend in the deal.

So Zach wanted to pound on a door. Maybe yell a bit, too. Maybe yell about why the other day had been so different, with Chris buying a paper and listening to him ramble, their steps falling in sync. How Zach had remembered off the tip of his tongue Chris’ coffee order, and how Chris hadn’t been annoyed that Zach had ordered for him. How they had walked through Central Park, enjoying the sunshine and silence, and later enjoying the sounds of the rain as they had huddled together in a used bookstore, opening dusty texts of sonnets and spells.

How it had felt oh-so natural, oh-so _right_.

But when Chris opened the door to him, in wrinkled white t-shirt and dirty blue jeans, hair mussed and eyes squinted, Zach didn’t want to yell anymore. He wanted to whisper.

“ _Marry me_ ,” it tumbled out, stunning Zach as much as Chris, still foggy from sleep.

Maybe it had taken the thousand steps to Chris’ door to realize that his longing and desire had been misplaced – that Zach had been misguided all this time. That a simmering anger from seeing Chris on the cover of magazines, on the previews for movies, during commercials on TV – all of it had been the annoying knock of destiny, the annoying warning bells that Zach had been going down the wrong path.

So wrong from what felt right as Zach rushed forward, hands gripping Chris’ shoulders.

“Do you love me?” Zach said, breathless and anxious.

Chris looked up, blinking a few times. “... Did I miss something?”

But Chris wasn’t moving away. His hands reached up instinctively for Zach’s waist, pulling them closer as Chris still looked dazed and confused.

Zach’s hands skimmed down Chris’ biceps, letting their foreheads gently touch.

“I’m an idiot,” Zach murmured, closing his eyes at the sensation of Chris’ fingertips tracing his lower back. “I’m an idiot who didn’t know I was still in love with you.”

Who wanted to run out into the streets and swing _Chris_ around – be happy and ecstatic and hopeful with _Chris_. With this man in his immediate space, overwhelming him, overwhelming everything.

A rush and adrenaline pounded through him, and the moment was like a pinch of awareness – a deep hunger that _this_ was what Zach truly wanted. Maybe would be given a second chance to finally possess.

If Chris would stop looking like that – shocked and startled like a deer in the headlights.

“They passed it?” Chris asked softly, scrutinizing Zach like a wounded animal, cautious yet not running away.

Zach could only nod. He looked in those blue eyes, letting the thoughts spiral of how he had fucked this up irreparably – Chris had been _friendly_. It hadn’t meant anything beyond niceties and wanting to get along. Hadn’t meant that Chris felt the same way, perhaps hoping that Zach would somehow wake up and realize it, too.

But the crush of their bodies together – Chris’ arms folding around him and not letting Zach escape – then the push away for Chris to grab the sides of his face, to smash their mouths together. Sweeter than it ought to be, more painful with drowning want and desire and need.

Painful in Chris stepping away, whispering, “ _Yes._ ”

They locked eyes, with Chris smiling as he said, “Yes, you’re an _idiot_.”

There was a long pause, and Zach wondered if there would be a catch to this – if Chris would ever stop grinning like that, would finally let Zach have it for barging in and mucking up their tentative friendship. Would ever let Zach have a dignified retreat, only to go home and maybe contemplate the beard and the drinking and the work for the rest of his days.

But Chris moved into his space, seeming to enjoy Zach’s panic as he said, “And yes, I’ll marry you. Whenever they finally legalize it, and my parents and agent finally get used to the idea – and _you_ get used to the idea.”

Chris chuckled, mere inches from him, looking stupidly happy as Zach lacked the breath to shout _Why?!_ or _What?!_ or _How?!_ , and instead pulled Chris in for another kiss – this time softer, this time more poignant.

Zach could hear the bells in his head, all the pieces locking into place – an open window letting in the sounds of the street, more whooping and hollering as celebrations in the city intensified.

All echoing the grin that Zach had on his face, reveling in his moment of destiny.


End file.
